Week 5 Results

Week 5 (Mar 13)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics 30 v. Gossip Girl 30 (TIE)
Perez Hilton 10 v. Celebutantes 30
Paparazzi Whores 50 v. Lifestyles 10
Inter-divisional
Rachel Zoe 30 v. Tranny 25
Hoes Division
Material Girls 30 v. DUIs R US 40
Britney, Bitches 15 v. Mrs. Clemens 10
Tinseltown Tramps 20 v. Eat Something 40

Week 4 results

Week 4 (Mar 6)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics 55 v. Celebutantes 45
Perez 45 v. Paparazzi40
Gossip Girl 35 v. Rachel Zoe 40
Inter-divisional
Eat Something 20 v. Lifestyles 0
Hoes Division
Material Girls 10 v. Tinseltown Tramps 55
Britney, Bitches 30 v. DUIs R US 60
Tranny Messes 35 v. Clemens 30

Week 3 Results

Send complaints by tomorrow.

(Feb 28)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics 30 v. Lifestyles 30 (TIE)
Gossip Girl 30 v. Perez Hilton 40
Paparazzi 40 v. Rachel Zoe 60

Inter-divisional
Tinseltown 40 v. Celebutantes 45

Hoes Division
Material Girls 65 v. Eat Something 40
Tranny Messes 30 v. Britney, Bitches 65
Clemens 30 v. DUIs R US 50

No applause necessary

Thank you. Thank you. I'll take three cover shots and one obscuring the logo for 50 points. I'm sure Rachel Zoe's Hoes will continue to fill the pages as well.

What is up with the Jennifer Aniston obsession?

New cover is Jen vs. Angie...and Barack Obama??! Since when do US Weekly readers care about politics?

Week 2 Results and Standings-Unofficial

Send gripes to Commish ASAP.

Week 2 (Feb 21)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics 35 v. Rachel Zoe 35 (TIE)
Perez Hilton 35 v. Lifestyles 10
Celebutantes 60 v. Paparazzi 35
Inter-divisional
Gossip Girl 40 v. DUIs R US 30
Hoes Division
Material Girls 30 v. Tranny Messes 30 (TIE)
Britney, Bitches 70 v. Eat Something 25
Tinseltown Tramps 55 v. Clemens 10

Bitches Division Standings*

Place/Team/Wins-Losses-Ties/GB/Points
1/Gossip Girl-Jen Gold/2-0-0/--/105
2/Perez Hilton-Monica /2-0-0/--/85
3/Celebutantes-Mary Ellen/Jeana/1-1-0/1.0/90
4/Lifestyles of the Rich and Pantyless-Sarah /1-1-0/1.0/55
5/Rachel Zoe’s Hoes-Amy O/0-1-1/1.5/75
6/NJ Colonics-Stacey O/0-1-1/1.5/70
7/Paparazzi Whores-Diane /0-2-0/2.0/65

Hoes Division Standings*

Place/Team/Wins-Losses-Ties/GB/Points
1/It’s Britney, Bitches-Kristin /2-0-0/--/130
2/DUIs R US-Casey /1-1-0/1.0/105
3/Eat Something Already-Dierdre/1-1-0/1.0/90
4/Tinseltown Tramps-Colleen/1-1-0/1.0/75
5/Mrs. Clemens, the Juicer-Commish**/1-1-0/1.0/50
6/Material Girls-Judi /0-1-1/1.5/70
7/Tranny Messes-Kim Luck/0-1-1/1.5/55

*Preliminary scoring, pending any protests. (02/22/2008)
**Commish squad is a field filler, not eligible for prizes

Official Schedule

Week 1 (February 14)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics 35 v. Perez Hilton 40
Rachel Zoe 30 v. Lifestyles 45
Celebutantes 30 v. Gossip Girl 65
Inter-divisional
Paparazzi Whores 30 v. Mrs. Clemens 40
Hoes Division
Material Girls 40 v. Britney, Bitches 60
Tranny Messes 25 v. Eat Something 65
Tinseltown Tramps 20 v. DUIs R US 75

Week 2 (Feb 21)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics v. Rachel Zoe
Perez Hilton v. Lifestyles
Celebutantes v. Paparazzi
Inter-divisional
Gossip Girl v. DUIs R US
Hoes Division
Material Girls v. Tranny Messes
Britney, Bitches v. Eat Something
Tinseltown Tramps v. Clemens

Week 3 (Feb 28)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics v. Lifestyles
Gossip Girl v. Perez Hilton
Paparazzi v. Rachel Zoe
Inter-divisional
Tinseltown v. Celebutantes
Hoes Division
Material Girls v. Eat Something
Tranny Messes v. Britney, Bitches
Clemens v. DUIs R US

Week 4 (Mar 6)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics v. Celebutantes
Perez v. Paparazzi
Gossip Girl v. Rachel Zoe
Inter-divisional
Eat Something v. Lifestyles
Hoes Division
Material Girls v. Tinseltown Tramps
Britney, Bitches v. DUIs R US
Tranny Messes v. Clemens

Week 5 (Mar 13)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics v. Gossip Girl
Perez Hilton v. Celebutantes
Paparazzi Whores v. Lifestyles
Inter-divisional
Rachel Zoe v. Tranny
Hoes Division
Material Girls v. DUIs R US
Britney, Bitches v. Mrs. Clemens
Tinseltown Tramps v. Eat Something

Week 6 (Mar 20)
Bitches Division
NJ Colonics v. Paparazzi Whores
Rachel Zoe v. Lifestyles
Celebutantes v. Gossip Girl
Inter-divisional
Perez v. Britney, Bitches
Hoes Division
Material Girls v. Mrs. Clemens
Tranny Messes v. Tinseltown Tramps
Eat Something v. DUIs R US

Week 7 (Mar 27)
Bitches Division
Rachel Zoe v. Perez Hilton
Celebutantes v. Lifestyles
Paparazzi Whores v. Gossip Girl
Inter-divisional
NJ Colonics v. Material Girls
Hoes Division
Tinseltown Tramps v. Britney, Bitches
Tranny Messes v. DUIs R US
Eat Something v. Mrs. Clemens

Playoffs, Semi-Finals (April 4)
Bitches #1 v. Hoes #2
Bitches #2 v. Hoes #1
Others: Week One of 3rd place tournament
Championship (April 11)
Semi-finals winners meet for Dizzay Cup
Others: Week Two of 3rd place tournament, includes semi-finals losers

Here we go ladies...

Jennifer Garner!!!